Monthly Archives: February 2012

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Redesigning Me

I use to take time and pride in my looks, how I dressed, my nails, my hair, wearing jewelry, picking out purses and shoes that matched just so. I always thought I had a decent sense of style even if it wasn’t the best sense of style out there (others may beg to differ with me though). I cared about how I looked and took pride in it. But a lot of that changed when my depression got worse because I frankly didn’t care, and even when I did….I didn’t.

That has been hard for me to do over the few last year. I have tried but with the extra weight it is hard to feel comfortable in any clothes, and the large the size I have to get; the less uncomfortable I feel shopping. I have a set of things I wear and have pretty much worn out because they are the only things that fit me. I’m tired of seeing the same things on me and I am sure other people are as well.

I want to redesign myself with my style, my clothes, my hair, my looks; pretty much all of it. I started recently with cutting and styling my hair more regularly then once a year. I have taken the time lately to get pedicures done on a more regular basis (although I still go too long in between) and want to get the Sally Hansen Salon Effect nail color strips for my nails because it is a waste to spend the time and money on a manicure when my nails chip and break as much as they do now that I am typing all the time at work.

I have a closet (and 2 totes) full of clothes that I cannot wear because my size is too big for them. Do I expect to be a size 0 again, no I don’t. Do I want to be a size 0, no I don’t. I want to be a healthy weight that I am comfortable and happy with. A weight I can honestly say I love my body and mean it. Is that 10 lbs from where I am now? 20? 30? I don’t know. I won’t know till the weight starts coming off and I start feeling healthier.

And as the clothes start to fit again it will definitely feel good to be able to wear some of those things I see hanging in my closet that I don’t dare touch because I know how I will look in them. Or to be able to open those totes (that have been packed since before we moved to California from Texas almost 3 years ago) and be able to wear the things in there I saved because I promised myself SOMEDAY!

Well SOMEDAY is NOW!

I have started the Body by Vi 90 Day Challenge (for more information about the program see here) through my friend Genny.  I did all of my measurements today, took my weight down and am ready for a transformation. I am only doing one shake a day (probably lunch) and am going to eat healthy the other meals. I am also going to return to working out at the YMCA since I have a membership.

I am determined because I know I feel better, look better and am healthier when I eat better and exercise. My energy is better as well.

So I am going to track my progress both here on my blog and here.

Aside by

Tired

I am tired.

Tired of …

…feeling overweight.

…being overweight.

…feeling unhealthy.

…being unhealthy.

…not being able to buy a piece of clothing I want because it doesn’t come in my “size”.

…having to get the next size up so it will fit.

…having clothes I cannot wear.

…being depressed over my weight.

…seeing the numbers 180, 190 and 200.

And I am the ONLY one who can DO something ABOUT it!

So I am, cause as I said…..I am tired of it all.

And I am not calling myself ‘fat’ but I AM overweight. I AM unhealthy. I AM uncomfortable. I AM unhappy with my body. There is no getting use it or loving myself. I can’t do so when I know that the weight I am at is unhealthy for me.

 

Fat Tuesday is today……so I celebrated. Last time in a long time I am going to eat like I did today. I am going to do a junk food challenge for 21 days. A fast food challenge for 30 days. I have work outs planned, a work out buddy. Going to try Body by Vi shakes. I am going to change what we eat (because I know how to), be more active (because I should) and make a life change not only for me but for my whole family cause we could all use the healthy side of this.

I’ve talked about it too much, now is the time for action. I am going to track my progress on my blog (pictures and all).

So, Kelli, let’s do this!

Tuesday Truths – Tired

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Tuesday Truths – Following Up On Resolutions

My resolutions for 2012:

1.  Blog More – this is one I say I am going to do all the time and then fall behind on it. This year I would honestly like to blog more and want to make an active effort to do so. I enjoy blogging even if I don’t do it that well. – Well, let’s see…..I certainly have not stuck to this one. I honestly do want to blog more and would like to make the effort to do so.  But I know I can say that and until I do it is nothing but words.  Maybe I am still afraid of what people will think of what I write and I need to just stop that.  

2. Be better to myself – how I feel, the way I eat, how much I exercise, taking care of myself, making an effort in my apperience (nails, clothes, hair). – I have made a small effort at this one.  I did change my eating habits for a while but fell back into eating junk cause it’s just easier and let’s face it, it does taste good. This needs to be an effort that I put more into because if I don’t my health will pay for it.

3. Priorities - Get my priorities in order: God, Family, Myself, my friends, etc. – I can honestly say that I have done the most with this resolution, aside from taking better care of myself. I am making an effort to spend more time with my friends and family, and enjoy myself while doing so. I am not dealing with people’s drama, and instead avoiding people who bring drama into my life. I have a great family, a great set of friends who are like family and I have God in my life.

4. Give Back More – Volunteering, donating – I have not done anything on this resolution.

5. Make new friends and reconnect with old ones – Being back in Sebring has helped me to reconnect with my old friends and through them I have met some fantastic new people. I have also reconnected with a great group of girls that I love even though we are all in different parts of the U.S., I feel like they are my soul at times.

6. Take a family trip/vacation – A trip with Richard, the kids and myself to Hawaii? NY? Texas? California? – This might not happen till next year because of saving money to do so; however we are spending more time together as a family. 

7. Put myself on a budget and STICK TO IT!!! – Set a weekly/monthly budget for myself to stick to, invest more and prepare for the future. – I am actively putting money away for retirement, however I have not put myself on a budget yet so I have yet to stick to anything. 

8. Be more organized and efficient – in my life, at work, at home – The procrastinator in me will not allow this to happen for what ever reason and it is both sad and sickening. I need to be more organized, my stress would be so much less if I was.

9. Date Night – make regular “Date Nights” with my hubby and my girls, even if only once a month. - This is probably one of the only resolutions I have done anything with. My hubby and I have taken time to go out together. I have a friend who we try to do lunch every week. Now I just need to get a girls night together with my girls here in town and this resolution will be almost perfect.

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Happy Tenth Birthday, Alex

Dear Alex,

Today you are ten.

It seems like such a big number.

Ten.

A whole decade.

Ten.

Double digits.

10.

You aren’t quite a man, but not quite a child.

Ten.

I never imagined ten years ago when I birthed you how different my world or the world in general would be.  I found out I was pregnant with you just days before September 11th and so much has been changed because of that day. But so much more has been changed because you are in our lives.

In the ten years of your life we have lived in three states.  You turned every age from birth to eight in the state of Texas, the age of nine was spent in the state of California, and now ten comes to you in the state of Florida.

You wrote a story about yourself in which you said you were born on February 1, 2002; a cryless baby in Houston, Texas.  Well it was actually Katy, Texas but close enough. And as for cryless, well you hardly made a noise. You were always smiling and happy.

Always smiling.

Ten.

You are one of the brightest ten year olds I know, you are one of the brightest kids I know. Your wit and smarts and humor is what makes you so amazing and I hope that you never change. You have a charm about you that attracts everyone to you, even in a room full of 100 people.

I love you, dad loves you, your brother loves you, and your sister loves you.  And yes, yet again; you have won the heart of the four-legged family member in our house as you have become “Yogi’s boy”.

Happy Tenth Birthday, Alexander William James

February 1, 2002

February 1, 2012