30 Days of Truth – Day 1

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Everyone seems to have something about themselves that they hate; their butt, thighs, legs, eyes, etc. I often wonder if this “hate” for a physical part of a person’s body is a real hate of something of their selves.  I could pick a list of things about myself that I “hate”; I hate that I am fat, I hate that I have brown eyes, I hate my teeth, I hate my neck, I hate my nose, I hate ears, I hate the broadness of my shoulders.  But these hates are real in the sense of hate.

According to dictionary.com; the definition of hate is to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; to detest.  Of the list above, I don’t know if I would say that I have an intense or passionate dislike, extreme aversion or hostility towards or for any of the things I listed.  Sure, I dislike those things about me but when put in that light of the word hate, I’d have to say I don’t “hate” those things about me.

If I had to put my finger on one thing I hate about myself it would be my openness.  I am very open and trustworthy of people.  I hate that I am this way.  It often leads to getting hurt, and in a bad way.  It also sometimes leads to people telling me that I “air my laundry” or “tell my business”.  It is not my intention.  I just often feel overly comfortable around people (I guess the wrong people).

I really wish I could change this about myself; I’d like to say I know how but it seems as soon as I feel comfortable, I open up more than I should.  However, I have also found that when I “close up” or keep to myself; it is automatically assumed that something is wrong, or why I am acting strange.  My openness is a big part of who I am, I have been told by people who are my elders that it is a good thing to be open; yet it seems to be THE thing that most people (including myself) despises about me the most.

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