Not so “little” anymore…

Sitting in the chair next to me is a little girl I don’t quite recognize.  I know it is my daughter but when did she get so big?  When did she become so smart?  When did she start looking like a child instead of the little baby I remember?  She is five now, that milestone number where you aren’t a “little” kid anymore but your not quite a “big” kid either.  Still little enough to order from kids menus, and get away with goofy kid things; but just big enough to start school and not be considered a toddler anymore.

That magic number five where your world starts to change because a lot is around the corner, and you are that much closer to ten.  That simple number that reminds mommy and daddy that their baby has grown up and isn’t, well, a baby anymore.

For years she has asked about school, and riding buses; I laughed it off thinking, “That’s YEARS away”.  Boy, those years went fast.  Here it is April and in 5 months time you will be riding a bus, going to school.  You will be in Kindergarten, and then asking about high school and driving cars and going on dates…..and I will laugh all that off and think, “That’s YEARS away” but in my heart I know it’s just around the corner.

Many people have come in and out of your life; many people will continue to come in and out of your life.  Some for the good, some for the bad.  Some will leave impressions that will last your whole life and help shape who and what you become; others will fade from your memory because they were just passing through.  Remember to hold on to the ones that truly mean something to you.

And as I look at this little girl sitting next me there are so many things I wish and hope for: I wish my great grandmother knew her.  I wish my daddy knew her.  I hope I am a good mommy.  I hope she is happy.  I wish her to be happy.  I wish for the best for her.  I hope the world doesn’t let her down.  And of course all those other “mommy” things like getting married and having children and being the princess she believes she is.

I don’t remember your brothers growing up so fast, sure they have grown up and are fourteen and nine; but I don’t remember it happening as fast as it seems to be happening with you.  You were just born, yesterday it seems like; now we are celebrating your fifth birthday.  How is that possible?

So here’s looking at you Samantha Carol; you are five years old now, and you are growing up way too damn fast on me so slow down a little, ok?

I love you,

Mommy

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