Testing…1, 2, 3, 4

Testing…1, 2, 3, 4.

Testing.

Is anybody listening?

Should I speak louder for the ones in the back?

Or maybe softer so I don’t offend anyone in the crowd?

I have always said I write this blog for myself. That I couldn’t care less if someone reads my ramblings or not. But that is not all true. There is a part of me that wants others to read it in a hope that maybe, just maybe I reach them with something I say or have experienced that helps them through something as well because someone else has survived this, someone else has gotten through this.

And then I look at my writings and the dribble I sometimes spit out and think, “no one is gonna get much of anything from this.” I realize a lot of that is fear in my writing.

I don’t want that fear to be there but it is.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of being misunderstood.

Fear of offending or insulting someone.

Fear of my own feelings.

And then every so often, I do get something out there, and it feels better. It is nice to get the weight off my chest. It is nice to, when people do comment, read that others have experienced similar things and that they understand or this is how they get through it.

That maybe, just maybe, we are not alone out there.