1.(of an undertaking or a relationship) not achieving its end or not lasting; unsuccessful.
2.(of a mechanism) not functioning properly; broken-down.
I have failed…At what you might ask? Well, everything.
But I have learned in my failure and see that in that failure I can make myself (and others) better.
I constantly say I am going to be better about posting/writing and then I don’t. I let other things get in the way and I really wish I didn’t because I feel better when I write, I feel better when I express.
I want to take time to read other’s writings, as I have discovered many great people and writers over the last few months; and enjoy reading what they have to say. But, again, I let other things get in the way.
It frustrates me that I am not better about keeping up with the house, and the laundry. But there are days I finish work and I am just done with everything for the day.
I should plan meals, and cook healthier, and not go the easy route with food; but I don’t because well…it is the easy route. That does no good for me or my family.
I should be a better friend and family member and reach out to people more. Contact them, remind them that I care and love them. But I don’t, and I don’t know why.
There are tons of other things I could list here that I should be doing, I could be doing, I would be doing but there are times I just don’t.
So, as you see, I have failed, at everything. And in failing I have learned that I am human, and I cannot do everything despite wanting to and trying to at times. That I need to give myself a small break now and then. That I need to realize there are times it is just plain laziness (because it is) and there are times that what I gave for the day was all I had to give. And both of those are okay.
The important thing is I keep getting back up every day and giving what I have for that day. Today might be 20%, tomorrow might be 120%; but I am always going to give all I have to give.
1 thought on “Failed”
We can often be too hard on ourselves because our “wishing to do” list can be much longer and more complex than our energy available. I think it matters that you have self-reflection and care, but please don’t be too hard on yourself. Like you said you are learning about your capacity and the differential between what you want to do and what you actually get around to. Keep writing!
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