Well, well…look at that I have already fallen behind on my promise. But who did I promise you, or myself? See, I told you I am not good at this. So I got day 1, 2 and 3 out and then slipped on the rest. So, when I am home tonight I will be posting to catch myself up to today, May 7, and then will try to stay on top of it from there. I honestly want to be better about blogging and writing I just need to make myself find the time to do so. I can use all the excuses, too: work, kids, home, life; but to be honest that is all they are is excuses and there is no reason for them. How does the saying go, excuses are like assholes and everybody’s got one….or wait maybe that opinions but it seems to work both ways.
This topic is quite touchy, for the very reason that my beliefs aren’t yours and therefore you might think or feel they are wrong. But the reason we all have different beliefs, likes and opinions is so that the world is different and not boring. So you can learn things and be introduced to new things.
My beliefs are very skewed to many people. There are certain things
beliefs I have that contradict each other, actually though I am quite
simple when it comes down to it.
I was raised Christian, going to church. I was raised by a republican
mother and a democrat father who tended to be more conservative than
he cared to admit. I was raised with a slight military essence to my
dad’s side of things as he was a military man for the majority of his
life. I, for along time, believed everything was black or white because
of this up bringing. Now in no way, shape or form am I saying I was
raised wrong or badly; I just realized there was a lot more to life
than cut and dry.
I think a lot of my views changed when I had my kids. Having kids seems
to do that to a lot of people. I would have told you that I was a Christian Conservative or Republican had you asked me before my kids or
around the time I had Robert (my oldest) in 1997. However, it seems
through the years I have become more Libertarian on issues.
I still consider myself Christian, however I am not big on religion. I
do not go to church, although I feel I should. I try to instill a faith
aspect to my parenting and daily life. Could I use more God? Probably.
Could my children use more God? Probably. Does that make me any less
of a person than anyone else? Not at all.
I often tell people on issues such as abortion, equal marriage, race, etc
I myself would not have an abortion, does that mean I have the right to
tell you you cannot, I absolutely do not think so. Your body, your choice.
But please don’t try to cram your stand on abortion down my throat, I know
how I feel and nothing you say or do is going to change that.
I don’t feel I have the right to tell you who you can or cannot love regardless
of their color, race, religion or sexual orientation. If you love a person you
should have the right to be with that person and married to that person. I
don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors. Do you treat each other right and are you loving? Well then by all means, give it a crack like the rest of us. Again, don’t try to make believe what you believe on this issue.
I vaccinate my kids, you don’t. Does that make either of us right or wrong. Depends on what you believe about vaccines. Just because I chose to vaccinate does not make me a bad person or a bad parent. Just because you chose not to vaccinate does not make you a bad person or a bad parent. I have read the arguments of both sides, I made my choice and you made yours. I have seen both sides of the issue (personally) and I still chose to vaccinate, that is my choice. Please don’t try to cram your choice down my throat through.
I believe in God. I believe in faith. I believe in prayer. I am not a big fan of
religion. I have had issues with church that I probably need to get pass. You go to church, great. I do not, great. I live my life the way I feel is best for myself,
my family and my children. Does that make me right? Don’t know. Does that make me wrong? Don’t know. I will find out one day, but today is not that day. I read once the following statement and it is very true to how I feel: I’d rather live my life believing there is a God and die to find out there is not one than live my life believing there is not a God and die to find out there is.
My beliefs are mine, your beliefs are yours. Does having my beliefs make me right and you wrong? No. Does having your beliefs make you right and me wrong? No. So, why treat it that way. Why treat me different because I don’t believe what you do?
Oh, and please for Pete’s sake; stop generalizing all Republicans, all Conservatives, all Democrats, all Liberals, all Christians, all non-Christians, all pro this, all against that, all races, all religions into ONE general group. Just because I say I am a Conservative Christian does not mean I am like every other Conservative Christian. Just like if you are a Liberal does not mean you are like every other Liberal. Just because a certain politician or figure is where they are does not mean I voted for them just because they are whatever they may be. If I don’t agree with you and your beliefs I am not going to put you in a position that will allow you to enforce your beliefs on myself or others. There are things people in my “groups” do that I do not agree with or care to be associated with; just as I am sure the same goes for you. So, please don’t assume because I say I am something that I am a certain way or like another of the same.
We are different for a reason, doesn’t make one of us right and the other wrong, it just makes us different and that is not such a bad thing.
I was born January of 1980. And although I don’t remember much about the first few years of my life; I do remember my toys and the cartoons. The toys and cartoons of my childhood were pretty spectacular and awesome. I often wish you could get the toys we use to have for our kids now. Sure there are some of the same like My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake and Transformers (to name a few), they don’t have the magic like the ones from our childhood did. Some of my many favorites included: Popples My Little Pony Carebears Muppet Babies GI Joe TMNT Original NES Girl Talk: Date Line Caboodles Polly Pocket Doug Fraggle Rock Rainbow Bright Strawberry Shortcake Alf Thunder Cats Jem & The Holograms She-Ra He-Man
This one is kind of hard to write. Not because I don’t have any failures because, I do. Because no one ever wants to admit a failure. Especially in a public format.
As I stated, I have had plenty of failure in my life. Is there one particular that stands out above another, not necessarily. I can think of many that were perhaps worse than another but none that stand out really.
Probably what I would consider a failure that I would change, and that I could change is not finishing college. Now, I need to make it clear that the reason I haven’t finished isn’t because I have failed college. I actually did quite well when I was going. But life has happened. Both times I have tried to return I have had to stop because I have become pregnant during my studies. After I had Alex in 2002, I went back to continue my courses and became pregnant with Sammi who was born in 2006. I just never went back after I had Sammi.
Now don’t get me wrong for one single second. I adore my children, and to me they are a much better achievement than a college degree. However; for my mom who would like me to have one, for my dad who I know wanted me to have one and most of all for myself I would like to have that degree.
Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it now that I am 35, then I hear of 90 year olds going back to school to get their degrees, and I think, “hell yeah it is!” It is just an achievement I would like to have regardless of when I achieve it.
I haven’t posted or done anything with my blog since September 2014, and it wasn’t even really a post; it was pictures. My niece had visited from France in the summer and I was missing her that day, so I posted pictures from her visit. I keep saying that I am going to get better and blog regularly, then I don’t. I say these same things every time I decide to start blogging again, and then I just don’t. And then I blame myself and feel guilty for not blogging, which in return makes me not want to blog because it feels like a chore. I do enjoy it, that is the funny part. I feel better when I am writing and using my blog; even if it is for silly things. It is an avenue for me to get out feelings and make an expression. And honestly, I need that avenue.
I know a lot of why I don’t write is because I don’t feel I am a good writer. I don’t feel I have the caliber or charisma that some of the other bloggers I know have. Does that really matter though? This blog is supposed to be for me, not anyone else; and if you chose not to read it, there is nothing I can do about that. I am not looking for high volume and page rankings; if they happen, they happen. I am not going to turn them down if either comes my way. Another reason I don’t write, I don’t feel I have topics or that the topics I do have are stupid or silly. Again, does that matter if the blog is really for me? I know I chose to make it a public format, you the public can read if you want, think what you want.
So, to get myself started I found a 30 Day Challenge on another site. Some of the topics are a little cheesy but it will give me a starting point for my writing. Some of the topics will be simple answers and others will involve more depth. Bare with me while I try to get this going again. I plan to start this 30 Day Challenge on May 1st (I know May has 31 days, I will figure it out) and perhaps you want to join me. The challenge is as follows (I will post again prior to May 1st):
Day 1 – An Introduction
Day 2 – Where you’d like to be in 10 years
Day 3 – A Failure
Day 4 – Childhood Favorite(s)
Day 5 – Your Beliefs
Day 6 – 30 facts about yourself
Day 7 – Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits you
Day 8 – A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life
Day 9 – What you are reading or favorite book(s)
Day 10 – Discuss your first love
Day 11 – Put your music on shuffle and write the first 10 songs that pop up
Day 12 – reason behind your blog name
Day 13 – Somewhere you’d like to visit
Day 14 – Your earliest favorite memory
Day 15 – Blogs you follow
Day 16 – Your favorite music
Day 17 – Your highs of the past year
Day 18 – Your lows of the past year
Day 19 – Your parents
Day 20 – 10 likes & 10 dislikes
Day 21 – Your favorite show(s)
Day 22 – Have you changed in the past year?
Day 23 – Top 5 famous guys & Top 5 famous girls
Day 24 – Favorite Quote(s)
Day 25 – Your favorite movie(s)
Day 26 – Bucket List
Day 27 – A current problem
Day 28 – Something & Someone that you miss
Day 29 – Things you can’t live without
Day 30 – Your Goals
I started writing a post about things I have had to adjust to in my life….losing my dad at the age of 20, being diagnosed bipolar, moving across states…and there are more but all in all nothing I have experienced has been overly traumatic or horrific.
Now before you say anything understand that I know my situations and experiences are mine and that doesn’t discount them in any way shape or form. They are mine, I own them, I take responsibility for the ones I caused and to me they had their own ounce of trauma and horror in my life.
However; my problems, my situations, my experiences seem so minuscule when something like yesterday takes place.
My heart, thoughts, sympathy, prayers and love are with the families, victims and everyone affected by this tragedy.
Resolutions for 2013
I make resolutions every year, some I keep and some I break. I wonder sometimes if I should make them because of the pressure to complete them. My husband calls them goals, and maybe if I looked at them that way I would achieve more of them.
So my goals for 2013 are as follows:
1. Health – every year, every month, every week I say I am going to eat better, exercise more….and for a short time I do but then I fall right back into the bad eating and laziness of not exercising. It is stupid cause I feel better when I eat better and exercise but it is easier to do and be the other way. Now with having diabetes my health is really a factor. So, my first goal for 2013 is to get healthy, all of us…no excuses, no laziness.
2. Family – Spend more time with my family instead of sitting on the couch on a Saturday or Sunday, I want to take more time to get out and do things with my kids and husband. Which leads me to my next one…
3. Parks – Visit every state park in Florida this year I want to visit every state park in Florida with the kids. Some I have been to but it has been a long time.
4. Faith – this year I will incorporate faith, God and church into our life more. I don’t want to be an occasional church goer anymore, and I want to instill faith in my children.
5. Organization – I say I am going to be better organized and stay less cluttered and 2013 is going to be the year it happens.
6. Friends – I will make more time for my friends this year. I live back in my hometown where a lot of people I grew up with still live yet I don’t take the time to make plans with them. That will change this year.
7. Charity – I will be more giving this year, and teach my kids this as well. I will help random people as well as give to my charities of choice in 2013.
8. Football – I love professional football. I know quite a bit but would like to know more and understand the game better. I’d also like to do fantasy this year, more then just the Perfect Challenge the NFL offers. And I would like to go to both a Miami Dolphin and Houston Texans game when the 2013 season starts.
9. Save – I will save more money this year. I will put myself on a budget, stick to it and put money in savings and away for retirement. I will get my kids to save more. I want to reestablish the envelope system and have them put money in for spend, short term goal, long term goal, save and charity.
10. Complete – this year I will start something and complete it. I will start 30 day challenges and not complete them. I will complete things this year.