Late: Day 5 – Your Beliefs

This topic is quite touchy, for the very reason that my beliefs aren’t yours and therefore you might think or feel they are wrong. But the reason we all have different beliefs, likes and opinions is so that the world is different and not boring. So you can learn things and be introduced to new things.

My beliefs are very skewed to many people. There are certain things
beliefs I have that contradict each other, actually though I am quite
simple when it comes down to it.

I was raised Christian, going to church. I was raised by a republican
mother and a democrat father who tended to be more conservative than
he cared to admit. I was raised with a slight military essence to my
dad’s side of things as he was a military man for the majority of his
life. I, for along time, believed everything was black or white because
of this up bringing. Now in no way, shape or form am I saying I was
raised wrong or badly; I just realized there was a lot more to life
than cut and dry.

I think a lot of my views changed when I had my kids. Having kids seems
to do that to a lot of people. I would have told you that I was a Christian Conservative or Republican had you asked me before my kids or
around the time I had Robert (my oldest) in 1997. However, it seems
through the years I have become more Libertarian on issues.

I still consider myself Christian, however I am not big on religion. I
do not go to church, although I feel I should. I try to instill a faith
aspect to my parenting and daily life. Could I use more God? Probably.
Could my children use more God? Probably. Does that make me any less
of a person than anyone else? Not at all.

I often tell people on issues such as abortion, equal marriage, race, etc
the following:

I myself would not have an abortion, does that mean I have the right to
tell you you cannot, I absolutely do not think so. Your body, your choice.
But please don’t try to cram your stand on abortion down my throat, I know
how I feel and nothing you say or do is going to change that.

I don’t feel I have the right to tell you who you can or cannot love regardless
of their color, race, religion or sexual orientation. If you love a person you
should have the right to be with that person and married to that person. I
don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors. Do you treat each other right and are you loving? Well then by all means, give it a crack like the rest of us. Again, don’t try to make believe what you believe on this issue.

I vaccinate my kids, you don’t. Does that make either of us right or wrong. Depends on what you believe about vaccines. Just because I chose to vaccinate does not make me a bad person or a bad parent. Just because you chose not to vaccinate does not make you a bad person or a bad parent. I have read the arguments of both sides, I made my choice and you made yours. I have seen both sides of the issue (personally) and I still chose to vaccinate, that is my choice. Please don’t try to cram your choice down my throat through.

I believe in God. I believe in faith. I believe in prayer. I am not a big fan of
religion. I have had issues with church that I probably need to get pass. You go to church, great. I do not, great. I live my life the way I feel is best for myself,
my family and my children. Does that make me right? Don’t know. Does that make me wrong? Don’t know. I will find out one day, but today is not that day. I read once the following statement and it is very true to how I feel: I’d rather live my life believing there is a God and die to find out there is not one than live my life believing there is not a God and die to find out there is.

My beliefs are mine, your beliefs are yours. Does having my beliefs make me right and you wrong? No. Does having your beliefs make you right and me wrong? No. So, why treat it that way. Why treat me different because I don’t believe what you do?

Oh, and please for Pete’s sake; stop generalizing all Republicans, all Conservatives, all Democrats, all Liberals, all Christians, all non-Christians, all pro this, all against that, all races, all religions into ONE general group. Just because I say I am a Conservative Christian does not mean I am like every other Conservative Christian. Just like if you are a Liberal does not mean you are like every other Liberal. Just because a certain politician or figure is where they are does not mean I voted for them just because they are whatever they may be. If I don’t agree with you and your beliefs I am not going to put you in a position that will allow you to enforce your beliefs on myself or others. There are things people in my “groups” do that I do not agree with or care to be associated with; just as I am sure the same goes for you. So, please don’t assume because I say I am something that I am a certain way or like another of the same.

We are different for a reason, doesn’t make one of us right and the other wrong, it just makes us different and that is not such a bad thing.

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30 Days of Truth – Day 4-5-6

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

I need to forgive anyone I have hurt.  I know that might sound selfish, and in many ways perhaps it is but there is reasoning behind this.

You see when you hurt someone; whether it is done intentionally or not, whether it is done because of reason or none, whether it is done in sickness or in health, whether it is done when you are of full sanity or on the brink of insanity; there seems to be preconceived notions and misconcepted thoughts about you as a person.  These lead to people thinking or believe that you will continually be that way, do those things, say those things or act a certain way.  Even if it has happened only once, and you have apologized, the ever lingering feeling of, “you are going to do it again” is always there; and I need to understand why that is and forgive them of that feeling, because after all I am the one who placed it there.  The feeling of mistrust, of walking on eggshells, of tip-toeing around things because you are afraid of what might happen again can be strenuous.  I need to forgive people for feeling that way about me because it is not all their fault, it is mine for making them think, feel or believe that is the way I am or the only way I can be.

But you see this is hard for me to do because I wonder…if I was sick with say cancer or lupus or fibromyalgia…and I said or did things like I have with my depression that have hurt people; would the pain still be lingering?  Would they still be walking around me like I am fragile and might break at any moment?  Would relationships stay destroyed?  Would friendships still be ruined?

 

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.

One of the biggest hopes I have in my life for right now is to go back to school and finish my education.  I had started on a track for the medical field.  Every time I tried to return to school; which has happened on three different occasions now; I have ended up pregnant….and well frankly that isn’t going to happen again so this is one hope, one wish that I know I can make a reality.  So within the next 3 months I will be returning to school, starting back on the medical track and with-in 15 months have a CNA license.

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.

Something I hope that I never have to do is watch any of my three children have their hearts broken.  Unfortunately I know this is going to happen, probably with each one of them.

But, if I had to pick one particular thing I hope to never have to do it would be to see their hearts broken; because after having mine broken as bad as it has been, I hope that it never happens to them.