Rewriting Kel

This is me…rewriting Kel

{W}rite of Passage Challenge #3 & an updated list December 22, 2009

Filed under: Christmas, {W}rite of Passage — rewritingkel @ 11:10 pm

{W}rite of Passage Challenge #3: The Gift

Write about the Christmas Gift you remember the most.  Why? Who was it from? Where were you? What is the significance of it?

{W}rite of Passage Challenge #3 is to write about a Christmas gift that you remember the most.  Who it is from, why you remember it, where you were, and what significance the gift has to you.  This was a hard one for me because there are plenty of gifts that I remember, that really stand out and that could mean something to me.  But if I had to pick one single gift that really stands out in my mind, and my heart, the most it would probably be the necklace I received from my great-grandmother in 1989.  I was 9 years old and it was the last Christmas I had with her as she passed January of 1990.  The necklace was a small gold chain with a porcelain blue flower on it.  It was the first thing my great-grandfather gave to her.  They started dating when she was 12 and he was 16 and married when she was 15 and he was 19.  They were married 65 years the year my great-grandmother passed.  I do believe that I still have the necklace in my keepsake box and if I do it will be passed on to Sammi when she can appreciate it.

My 20 Item Wish List (read: selfish) UPDATED:

1.  A manicure and pedicure
2.  A sushi lunch/dinner where I can order like 3 rolls for myself
3.  Road Rage Shticks from UrbanOutfitters.com (thanks to Megan)
4.  Nestling Birds Necklace (again thanks Megan)
5.  A gift card to Charlotte Russe
6.  A gym membership or Wii Fit – we will be joining 24 Hour Fitness in January. :)
7.  A trip for me, the hubs and kiddos to Disneyland (Been to Disneyworld quite a bit)
8.  Bottles of the following perfumes Very Irresistible by Givenchy, Poison by Dior, Ralph by Ralph Lauren, Flora by Gucci and Chi by Chi.
9.  A pair of Ugg boots in either brown or grey
10. A Blackberry Curve to replace my LG Rumoronly crossed off half because I think I am pretty sure I am getting a new phone not sure if it is a Blackberry, maybe a LG Rumor 2.
11. An iPod Touch
12. A Flip Video Mino HD recorder in either Butterfly Dance, Flowers 5, Calligraphy 03, Giraffe or Love me Pugly
13. Cleaning lady(s)wait, oh yeah I have this, twice a month thanks to my wonderful landlords.
14. A gift card to Target
15. A gift card to Victoria’s Secret
16. Guitar Hero 5
17. To rent our house in Texas = less stress and more finances for the hubby and IHouse will be rented as of 01/01/10 with a 2 year lease!! :D
18. A game night with my family, my friends and their families (hubs, boyfriends and kiddos included) – maybe around my birthday in January?
19. To find something I can do from home and make some extra mula $$$ – Anybody got any ideas??
20. A wonderful, happy and Merry Christmas for my hubs and kiddos

 

Reason for the Season December 18, 2009

Filed under: Christmas — rewritingkel @ 3:09 pm

This is one post that I didn’t want to write, I am always afraid how it is going to come out.  Blame the depression/anxiety.  I worry about everything, but not HALF as much as I use to.  Yes, it use to be worse.  Bet you are all glad I started blogging AFTER I started taking the happy pills.  I started this post quite a few times and then deleted it to start others, which I did post.  I never even saved the original ones I started but for some reason today it is all sticking and coming out like a waterfall so, I intend to finish, and post.

I have always been a giver.  It was never about the getting for me.  Not at Christmas or birthdays or any other holiday that involves gifts.  I would rather give and see someone be happy for what they have received then get.  And I have never been one to say oh well I gave you a gift so I need or expect one in return.  I get much more out of giving.  It is my nature.  I am also told it is part of my codependency but that is a part of it I will take.  I mean I am the lady who gives to the teachers, the principals, the mailman, tips hairdressers, grocery baggers; gives gifts to pretty much everyone I have ever said hi to that has said the words hi in return.  They received a gift from me.  Why, because I wanted to give.  I wanted to see them receive.  I felt (feel) good about it.

And of course you get the people who are one of the following:

1. I got so and so a gift and got nothing in return
2. I got a gift from so and so and can you believe she only spent $$ on it? or can you believe she spent $$ on it!
3. So and So give me this gift, can you believe she gave me this?
4. Can you believe so and so gave me a gift?  I love it!
5. How come so and so gave you/them/me a gift and not me/them/you?
6. Now I have to get so and so something because she got me xyz
7. Why would so and so give me/them/you a gift?

And my list could go on and on and on and on of the grateful/ungratefulness of people.  There are the grateful, the ungrateful, the semigrateful in each situation.  Doesn’t matter if it is Christmas, birthday, Valentines, etc.  But for some reason the whole gift giving/receiving gets worse at Christmas, or at least people’s attitudes seem to.

I have tried to teach my children that Christmas isn’t just about Santa and what gifts you get/give.  I have read and plan to read the Christmas story to them from the Bible.  We watch a Christian themed story at Christmas time right along with Frosty, Rudolph and Snoopy.

I think it is important for them to know why we celebrate.  I think it is important for them to know that it’s not just about the what or the how much.  I try to teach it is the thought of the giving and the appreciation of the receiving, not how much more can I get.  Have I failed….yes.  Do they continue to ask for a crazy amount of stuff…yes.  Do they get the whole reason for the season…I am not sure.  But I can continue to preach it as their mother and hope that eventually it gets across to them in whatever way they want to interpt it.

This year has been particularly hard, as we don’t have a lot of money (I know everyone’s story) and cannot get a lot for the kids.  But if there is anything I have learned, especially in the recent year; it is not about what you give or get it is about being with the people you love.  Being with the people you want to be with.  Being with the people who make you feel good.  Being with the ones you consider family (even if that family is not blood related).  And if you can give a gift to them, then so be it.  If you can’t; then being with them, enjoying yourself as well as their company should be gift enough.

But it is hard to explain to children regardless of their ages (mine are 12, 7 and 3) that they aren’t going to get what they usually get because mommy and daddy just don’t have the money.  We do the Santa tradition, and it would be hard to explain to two children who still believe that Santa couldn’t come to their house this year when he was able to make everyone elses. (The Santa recession commercial cracks me up)  It is hard to tell them, well instead of presents we are doing this or going here or have done this or will be doing that.  Trying to explain that moving to California “is” Christmas just doesn’t work.  As much as they say they understand, as much as they want to understand; they don’t.  They are children, and as smart as I think all three of my children are; understanding the things we are trying to explain to them this year only comes with age and maturity.  It has taken me almost thirty years to really understand and comprehend it all myself.

And this year will be the first year I have a Christmas with out any family.  Sure I have my hubby and the three kids, but we have always had my mom, his mom, his family, my family somewhere around during Christmas time; and this year it will be just us.  In many ways I am happy about that, I am happy to be able to enjoy “my family” with out my family, even if that sounds selfish.  But it is also weird to me.  I have always had a lot of people around at Christmas.  Ever since I can remember, there has been tons of people around at Christmas.  This year, not so much, or not so many.  So as much as I think I am going to enjoy the “quiet”, I am also going to miss the “commotion”.

I also never make a wish list myself.  I always tell people just get me what you think I would like.  This year, I am making my own (read: selfish) 20 Item Wish List and here it is:

Kel’s 20 Item Wish List

1.  A manicure and pedicure
2.  A sushi lunch/dinner where I can order like 3 rolls for myself
3.  Road Rage Shticks from UrbanOutfitters.com (thanks to Megan)
4.  Nestling Birds Necklace (again thanks Megan)
5.  A gift card to Charlotte Russe
6.  A gym membership or Wii Fit
7.  A trip for me, the hubs and kiddos to Disneyland (I have frequented Disneyworld quite a bit being from Florida)
8.  Bottles of the following perfumes Very Irresistible by Givenchy, Poison by Dior, Ralph by Ralph Lauren, Flora by Gucci and Chi by Chi.
9.  A pair of Ugg boots in either brown or grey
10. A Blackberry Curve to replace my LG Rumor
11. An iPod Touch
12. A Flip Video Mino HD recorder in either Butterfly Dance, Flowers 5, Calligraphy 03, Giraffe or Love me Pugly
13. Cleaning lady(s) – wait, oh yeah I have this, twice a month thanks to my wonderful landlords.
14. A gift card to Target
15. A gift card to Victoria’s Secret
16. Guitar Hero 5
17. To rent our house in Texas = less stress and more finances for the hubby and I
18. A game night with my family, my friends and their families (hubs, boyfriends and kiddos included)
19. To find something I can do from home and make some extra mula $$$
20. A wonderful, happy and Merry Christmas for my hubs and kiddos

Is that greedy, I hope not.  I hardly ever ask for anything.  I always end up with TONS of stuff from Bath and Body Works (which I love don’t get me wrong) in all the scents I love.  But this year I would like to actually get something I want if I get anything this Christmas.  I would be super happy with just getting #20 on my list, or maybe even #17.  Ok, ok to be honest I will take #17 and #20 because both would mean so so so much to me.  Those both happen to be things that no one can really “get” me so to say.  But you know what they say, “Money can’t buy happiness” (not to be cliche).

So this year for Christmas, I am following in a friends footsteps when it comes to giving (love you Sissy, you know who you are).  About three years ago, I had (still have) a very dear friend whose hubby was in Iraq.  She didn’t have a lot of money so a bunch of us chipped in and bought her and her kid a ticket to her mom’s in Tennessee for Christmas.  She was overwhelmed with joy.  So, the following year she gave us all Present I.O.U.s  I know it sounds stupid and corny but I thought it was ingenious.  Mine was, upon redemption of this I.O.U. coupon, you will be given one free babysitting.  I did use my coupon and it was at a much much much needed time for me.  One of our friends has an I.O.U. present from her of a scrapbook for her wedding pictures.  All of it was things she could do; maybe not right away, but she could make good on her promise.  I have decided to do the same.  Some of my I.O.U.s will be payable almost immediately;
some are going to take some time.

With all this (and that) being said; I mostly want to wish everyone a very happy, safe, wonderful, merry and loving Christmas.  I am thankful for what I do have, what I have had, what I will have, and what is still to come.  This Christmas and year has quite possibly been the most humbling for me ever, and I needed it.  I say it again, “I needed the humbling experiences I have had”.

//

 

What’s the big deal anyways? December 17, 2009

Filed under: Depression, The Ones about Me, The Ones about Other people — rewritingkel @ 10:52 am

“It takes years to build trust and only seconds to destroy it.”

For me it seems to be the other way around. I trust instantaneously, with or without reason. I go into relationships with the “you have 100% of my trust now don’t lose it” attitude. Everyone tells me (my husband, mother, and friends) that I should let people earn my trust; that they should give me theirs before I return mine. I am not that kind of person. I never have been and I don’t believe I ever could be. I give everyone a chance.

Here it is, out on the table. The person I am right here and now (on this blog, on twitter, on facebook), is the person you would see in real life. I have nothing to hide and everything to fear. I put way too much of myself out there many a times. And what for, I really don’t know. I just trust openly and whole heartedly and I am continually proven it is not the way to be. I have been told my entire life, I trust too much and I trust too quickly.

But I figure why not trust? Why not give a person the full benefit of doubt and open up? Why not allow them to know me? Why not feel that I can put things in their hands and they could hand it? If they can’t, if the doubt is there, if they don’t like me once they know me; well then fuck them.

But because of all of this trust and openness; I am often burned, hurt or treated badly. My therapist says although not a bad trait, all the trust has helped fuel my depression, that the openness and trusting has made it so that when someone does let me down it is “horrible” to me. I just hate doubting a person, I hate feeling as though a person is being untrue or hiding something. I wouldn’t want someone to feel that way about me, so let me open up and show you the trust and maybe it will come in return. Or maybe you will think I am just some freaked out psycho.

And I have been in situations where my trust has been betrayed in ways you would not even begin to believe, or maybe you would. Some of that betrayal has come has huge shock to me, some of that betrayal has been expected.

And so, I did it again. I opened up and I trusted. I let out things to people I barely know in hopes of that trust being there. And now all of the anxiety is back. The questioning. The worrying. The wondering. The anguish. And although in all apparentness nothing has back lashed yet, I feel myself sitting around wondering:

Who have they told? What have they told? What have they said? What will they say? How will they act? What do they think?

Why can’t I let these things go? This was a huge workshop I went through for my anxiety. Don’t worry about the who, what, when or how. I thought I was doing better, I had in many cases not worried about any of it. And then in others I have fretted worrying about it all. This is one of those fretting cases.

That made me wonder what it is about trust. Why is it that you can just open up to some people and others you have a guard with? Why is it that you feel sometimes things can just flow to a person and you aren’t worried about how they will judge you and with others you don’t even really want to tell them your name? Why do we guard against some but not against others?

It is that person. Some people just radiate with that trust vibe. You know that no matter what you spill to them, no matter what or how you say it; it is there between you and them. Quite often you will say this goes no further than xyz and you know damn well it won’t.

According to the dictionary, trust is:

1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

2. Custody; care of.

3. Something committed into the care or charge of another.

4. To have or place confidence in or upon.

5. To expect with assurance.

6. To believe in

7. To grant discretion or confidentiality to, of or from.

And I am sure some of you are reading this going, what is the big deal, so you spilled a few secrets to some people and now you are worried they are going to spill. If you don’t know the people they spill to what difference does it really make?

Well after some of the things in my life that have happened, after some of the things I have trusted in people that have been aired for unnecessary reasons and to unnecessary people; you would think I would be more guarded.

As I write this a small part of me is crying, a small part of me is dying. It makes me remember people I thought were “friends”, people I thought were “trustworthy”. It makes me remember some things I had wanted to forget, wanted to leave behind me. It makes me ache for the friendship I thought I had and hope to have again.

I don’t know what I am so worried about; they opened up to me as well. Things were discussed and talked about that I don’t feel they would have talked about with or around me if they didn’t trust me. Sure there was cracks on each other, and I am sure some of the things said has made each one of us go, “damn she is one crazy bitch” but the trust seemed to be there, the trust seemed to open and the conversations flowed without hesitation, without reserve.

And it is nice to have “that” feeling back again. It is nice to have trust and put trust into someone or something (friendship). It is nice to feel part of something again. It is nice to have friends again.

 

Finalization, and the anxiety of it November 19, 2009

Filed under: Depression, NaBloPoMo, The Move — rewritingkel @ 5:29 am

So I have sooo  much still to do to finish for this move.  I have don sooo much but there is still tons to do.  I am being told just to get done what I can, have the garage sale over the weekend to try to sell some more stuff and then just don’t worry about it till we are back in December but the anal retentiveness in me won’t let me not worry about it.  There is stuff still to pack, things to sell, stuff to clean, laundry to do, places to go and situate things (i.e. prescriptions, the mail).

I leave on Sunday.  I will be gone for approximately 5 weeks and then I will be back to finish everything up.  It would be nice if I could sell everything this weekend but I don’t see it happening, just don’t see it happening at all.  I will do what I can with the time that I have and hope that it is enough.  I have worked all day and night on things, enlisted the help of all three children AND thrown away TONS of things that I have no idea why I kept in the first place.

There are things I feel like I should pack but cannot and will not (such as the tv and all it’s components which I shall leave to my hubby).  A lot of what is left is the stuff in the kitchen (which I am using to cook and eat off of) and is glass so I need packing supplies, my china (again packing supplies) and some of Richard’s stuff (which I will leave to him).

I packed our room (mostly clothes), all three of the kids rooms are done and I packed their clothes (except what they are wearing this week), packed what I am not using in the kitchen, packed everything I could possibly pack that wasn’t needed for us to live during this week.

There is still furniture to sell: pool table, dining set, bedroom set, queen size mattress, twin size bed.  I have so much stuff in the garage for a garage sale (which I am doing Friday and Saturday), have all the furniture posted everywhere I can think of (craiglist, woodlandsonline, facebook, newspaper, greensheet) and I am getting inquiries on everything but no real bites yet.

So here is the list that HAS to be done tomorrow; no ifs, ands or buts about it:

1.  Unenroll the boys from their schools

2.  Take the truck to have oil change, tire rotation and be checked out for the drive to LA

3.  Be sure all prescriptions and refills are up to date at Walgreens in case refills are needed

4.  Contact our doctors to let them know we are moving

5.  Find out about forwarding our mail (can’t an address yet)

6.  Be sure everything that is needed is packed

7.  Find a home for the dog <–this may be accomplished

8.  Figure out when the kids are going to see the in-laws before we leave <–this might be Friday

So, I guess EIGHT things that HAVE to be done, isn’t too bad, or is it.  I am sure there is more than eight but eight is what I am concentrating on.  Eight is what I have to get done before leaving Sunday.  I guess if there is more, I will just have to work on it as best I can or it will just have to wait till I am back in December.

It is all setting in now.  All that there is to do, all that probably should be done, all that is left to do.  People I haven’t said goodbye to.  People I won’t be able to say goodbye to.  People who will be mad I didn’t say goodbye to them.  Places I wanted to go before leaving.  Things I wanted to do before leaving.  The stuff I wanted to stock up on from HEB before I left (Central Market White Cheddar Popcorn, HEB Dark Chocolate and Mint cookies, Sweet Leaf Half -N- Half tea).  The things I am going to miss, the people I am going to miss, the familiarity I am going to miss.

I am not however going to miss running into certain people.  I am not however going to miss the stress I feel here.  I am not however going to miss the bad memories that are I have from here.

I just need to breathe, relax and realize it is happening, I can’t stop it.  Maybe it’s faster than i would like but not faster than I want.  I’d leave tomorrow if I could but I will have to wait for Sunday, and I need till Sunday to be able to finish what does need to be done.

SPEAKING of cookies, I know I still owe cookies to @citycynic @standingidlyby and @JustOneMiss.  I haven’t forgotten, life has gotten in the way.  You will get your cookies, eventually.  Asking @JustOneMiss, my name in the Mafiosa wasn’t Il Procrastinatore for nothing. ;)

 

 

Because It’s Tuesday November 17, 2009

Filed under: Because It's Tuesday, Music and Lyrics, NaBloPoMo — rewritingkel @ 5:31 am

Because It’s Tuesday I normally post a non-worded blog with pictures and catchy little titles that say “Because….” and explain the picture or make some comment about the picture.  But today I am not going to do that.  And it isn’t my first Because It’s Tuesday that I haven’t posted pictures.  I’d like to think I am a creature of habit but today has been a little different.  This whole week has been a little different.  My whole life has been a little different and sometimes habit just doesn’t fit.

Today someone I don’t even really know touched my life in a profound way.  Today someone I follow on Twitter had a stroke.  And because of that my thoughts and prayers and worries are currently with her, @AnissaMayhew.  I just recently started following Anissa.  I actually started following her after the twitter birthday party for Maddie.  I started following a lot of new and wonderful people after that wonderful party to celebrate Maddie’s life and her 2nd birthday.  I also started reading Anissa’s blog; and felt as though I was learning who she was.  Now, this tragedy has struck and my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.  I hope the best for her and I ask that God help her heal quickly and fully.  I hope that I am able to get to know her better and know her like others have talked about her.  And if you want to know what you can do to help, you can go here to AimingLow and find out.  And if you can’t do anything else you can pray.  Pray for Anissa, pray for her family.  #prayersforanissa

And Because It’s Tuesday and I want to be able to move this weekend, I have been packing my house for the last few days. Probably faster than I have ever packed before.  I have thrown things away, put things in the garage sales I have had, boxed things up in totes and basically left the essentials where necessary: clothes, pots and dishes.  In a few cases where glass was involved it has not been “packed” packed because of no packing material and in the case of the television and all the stuff hooked to it, I am leaving that for the husband.  God forbid I mess up the tv and all it’s components.  But in order for all of that to happen the right way there are other things that have to fall into line.  We have to find a place to live in the LA area, I have found a townhome I really like and think will work good for us to start.  Rich is in LA and is looking at places.  I am trusting him to find the right one.  He is sending me what he finds and asking my opinion.  My biggest stickler in the whole thing, the school district.  I have two in school (2nd and 7th grade) and one that will be starting in about 2 years.  I want to be in a good area, or as good as we can find that we can afford.  I am ready to pack everything into my bus (I have a GMC Yukon XL) and just drive me and my kids and my dog and my stuff out there.  I am ready to move, and I am working it so I can.  And Rich if you read this, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY like that townhome.  I don’t know why but I can’t get it out of my head.  I have looked back over the list you sent me and that one just clicks.  And I am sure you know from Twitter if you have seen my tweets that it is 22 minutes for JustOneMiss.  So that is a PLUS!!

Also Because It’s Tuesday I watched So You Think You Can Dance, after I DVRed it and then voted as I watched the couples dance.  I really like Russell but some of the others are growing on me.  If you watched tonight I voted for Couples 2, 4, and 6.  Don’t ask me who they were cause I don’t remember off the top of my head while I am sitting downstairs in my bedroom and the TV and the DVR are upstairs in the Media room and I am too lazy to look but I can tell you one couple was Russell and Noelle.  And yeah that’s all I remember…..the other may have been Ryan and Ellenore and the other may have been your guess is as good as mine.  I just remember it was couples 2, 4, and 6.

And finally Because It’s Tuesday and I feel the need there is this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Am I depressed or possessed? November 12, 2009

Filed under: Depression, NaBloPoMo, The Ones about Me — rewritingkel @ 11:05 am

I watched a show the other day on Sci Fi Channel called The Possessed a film by The Booth Brothers.  The movie was very interesting and went over quite a few cases past and present of people who had been possessed.

The movie mostly went over the Spiritual Possession or Inhabitation that involved Mary Roff and Lurancy Vennum.  This story is from the latter 19th century (around 1846).  To read more about this story of Spirit Possession please go here. The point of my post isn’t about the story of Mary Roff and Lurancy Vennum, although it was a very interesting and intriging story.

The point of this post is to discuss a point that was brought across in the movie that has had me thinking for the last few days.  It tied Spiritual Possession or Inhabitation with mental illness.  That perhaps a person is being used as a vessel by a spirit when they have manic or depressive moments.  This would explain why when a person has a moment they sometimes say or do things that they do not remember or that to others involved does not seem right or real.

Now here is where I get all weird on you guys….don’t say you weren’t warned…

I believe in ghosts, I believe in spirits, and I believe that I have seen them, heard them, etc.  I believe that I am sensitive or clairvoyant or whatever you want to call it.  I could tell plenty of stories (and I will share them with you).

So it makes me wonder; since I have said and done things that I have no clear memory of, cannot for a moment fathom doing.  Things I have been told I have done in my depressive or angered state that I cannot believe I did, or said, or acted….things that blow my mind and have me wonder if I was possessed or out of my mind.

Now I am not talking about possession in a demonic way.  This is more as I stated that you are a vessel for the spirit.  Sort of on the line or The Sixth Sense.  They have something that needs to be said or something that they feel is unfinished.

The reason the spirit is able to possess or inhabit the person is because of the mental illness.  It makes them more susceptible to the “take over” as they called it in the movie.

So I sit back now and wonder if some or any of my episodes or moments was a possession or inhabitation.  I know, I know crazy.  But there were (are) times that I get angry, upset, scared, worried, etc about a situation I have been involved in and not even really known why I felt the way I did.  Why I thought the things I did.

Maybe it was a spirit.  Maybe it was the mental illness.  Maybe it was the chemical imbalance in my brain.  Maybe it was that I am just plain crazy.

 

Remembering My Dad November 11, 2009

Filed under: NaBloPoMo, The Ones about Me, The Ones about Other people — rewritingkel @ 5:01 am

November 11 is Veteran’s Day in the United States.  It is a day we take to honor our men and women who are serving and who have served in the military.  The ones who have fought to ensure our freedom and safety.  The ones who put their lives on the line daily.

Today is a day to honor my daddy.  My dad who served in the United States Navy.  My dad who spent 27.5 years both active and reserves with the United States Navy.  My dad who fought in World War II and Korea.  My dad who was a Colonel.  Who was a pilot with his own squad.  My dad, my hero.

My daddy who passed away in February of 2000.  I was just 20.  This man who was a big part of my life was suddenly gone.

And he knew Robert, but only for a short part of his life, and not a part that Robert really remembers.  He isn’t here for Alex or Sammi, they will never know him.  All they have is what I remember, what I know, what I can share with them.

And I hope that I can share enough with them that they feel the know him, too.

But I cannot tell you how much I wish he was still here.  Wish I could talk to him like I use to when I needed him.  I just wish I had my daddy.

I love you daddy.

 

For Maddie November 10, 2009

Filed under: Links, NaBloPoMo, The Ones about Other people — rewritingkel @ 6:12 am

I never knew Maddie in real life, nor do I know her mommy or her daddy.  I was introduced to Maddie, her family and her story by JustOneMiss. The more I get to know about Maddie’s story, her life and her family the more I feel I do know Maddie.

I read Maddie’s stories on her family’s blog, read about her on other’s blogs; and I feel like I am there while they are telling their stories.  Feel like I know Maddie.

I try to sit back and place myself in her mother’s shoes.  I try to imagine how I would feel.  But you cannot, you cannot even begin to imagine what Maddie’s mommy feels daily.  I cannot even begin to fathom what it would be like to lose a child.  Especially one who had just entered the world, had just begun her journey.

Maddie would have been two years old.  Happy Birthday Maddie.

I wish with all of my being that I could have known Maddie before she was taken to be with the angels.  That I could have experienced her beauty, her laughter, her love.

Are you a friend of Maddie? You should be.  Please donate:

friendsofmaddie

 

Moving…. November 9, 2009

Filed under: NaBloPoMo, The Ones about Me — rewritingkel @ 3:37 am

Okay, okay; so I missed three days (6-7-8) in the NaBloPoMo postings.  Oh well, life happens, and it did happen.  I don’t know if I would have had anything to say anyways, or maybe I would have had too much to say.  At any rate, I would have felt horrible had I been able to post everyday for something as simple as NaBloPoMo after I failed miserably posting daily for Breast Cancer in October.

As I have said before, and I am sure many of you know as I talk about it a lot, my family and I will be moving to the California.  We will be in the LA area.  We are looking at Tustin, Diamond Bar, Ponoma, San Dimas, and Walnut currently.  So here it is, my cry for help.  Here is what I am asking….This goes out to all of you in the state of California, especially those in the LA area.  If any of you have any suggestions for areas, please let me know.  If any of you know of any places for rent in those areas or in the areas you suggest.  We are looking for at least a three bedroom, at least two bath home within the rental range of $1,000 and $2,000 a month.  We would prefer a house so it will have a yard for the kids but, I am not picky.

I have been enlisting the expertise of JustOneMiss and she has given me quite a few words of wisdom.  She is one smart cookie.  Of course, if her and I had it our way, I’d be moving to the same city she lives in but…I’m not going to push my luck.

While thinking of moving a few things crossed my mind.  There is going to be a handful of things I am going to miss about Texas.  Mostly the familiarity of knowing where everything is, and how long it takes to get there.  But I am excited about learning a new place.  Here is a list of a few things I will miss though (I’m sure this list will grow):

1.  H.E.B. Grocery Stores

2.  H.E.B. Dark Chocolate and Mint cookies

3.  Central Market Organic White Cheddar Popcorn

4.  Market Street and The Waterway

5.  Saltgrass Steak House

6.  Uni Sushi

7.  Sakekawa

8.  Dr. Abusharr and the staff at Family Medicine at Sterling Ridge

9.  The Staff at Cypresswood LA Fitness

10.  My friends I have here

11.  My in-laws

12. Green Leaf Half n Half Tea

13.  Trips to Austin

I know some of those things might seem weird, however, those are things that popped into my head right away.  As I said, mostly the familiarity of what I know here will be missed.  Just as when I moved to Texas from Florida, I missed familiarity and people from Florida more than anything else.  But just as I learned Texas and the area I live in, I will learn the area we move to in California.

 

Drunk Kisses November 5, 2009

Filed under: NaBloPoMo, Obsessions, Pictures — rewritingkel @ 4:11 am
Eli & Kel

Exhibit 1

SDC12280

Exhibit 2

SDC12285

Exhibit 3

SDC12302

Exhibit 4

SDC12564

Exhibit 5

SDC12598

Exhibit 6

After looking through my photos today, I realized that I am a serial drunk kisser.  So here are 6 pieces of evidence I would like to enter in for judgment.  Apparently when I get drunk, I start kissing people.  Usually people I know, or who are around me; and usually on the cheek but they are kisses.  Lovely drunk kisses.

So to my ladies who will be with me in Vegas in December….watch out. ;) <3